Benita Conde worked in the advertising industry for close to 20 years, holding leadership roles in resource management, project management, recruiting and talent development at agencies such as Fallon NY, BBH NY and Anomaly NY. Now she is the founder of Create Radical Love, a life coaching and consulting approach for people who want to radically love their whole life experience, not just compartmentalized parts of it. This week, she brings us advice on how to let go of the fear-based and limiting thoughts we all have about ourselves, and move through the job hunting process more mindfully. Here's Benita—
You are not your thoughts—especially not the fear based and limiting thoughts that we're all prone to. Your thoughts are very much a part of your whole human experience, and they certainly come in very handy to keep you organized, getting you from point A to point B. But did you know that you don’t have to identify with them, believe them and hold them to be the truth?
Think back to a time when you believed something very strongly, very clearly and then due to learning something new about the situation or having a different experience, your belief about that person, place, circumstance or yourself totally changed. WOW. Whoa. In those moments, we can see that our thoughts are ever shifting and changing. They are not fixed.
It is very, very powerful when approaching anything related to our professional selves to harness the power of relaxing our thoughts, watching them come and go and not attaching our self-worth and beliefs about ourselves to them. We are so much more than just our thoughts!
What might you be believing about yourself right now that’s possibly limiting you, that’s not true?
TIP: Try writing down your current beliefs about yourself and see how much is based on opinion (not truth), and how many of those beliefs can shift and become more expansive?
When embarking on informational interviews, actual interviews, reaching out to and corresponding with people about landing a role in the advertising industry and then starting that role and navigating all of the interactions and feedback (or lack there of), I highly recommend balancing that entire process with good doses of mindfulness activities and self-care to help you observe and then let go of your limiting thoughts about yourself.
Here are some suggestions:
2-5 seconds (two deep breaths) of meditation - while you’re taking those breaths, you allow yourself to relax the thoughts moving through (possibly spinning through your brain at that moment) and just focus on the breath. This can greatly reduce your attachment to thoughts and beliefs. Use this when writing emails or before and after an interview, etc.
Using meditation apps to help you engage with meditation—use guided meditations, the timer, music, sound, whatever resonates for you and reduces the barriers to do it!
Get outside in nature - take a 10 minute walk, go sit in the sun, ride your bike, take a hike, go look at the sky, anything to feel the expansiveness of the Universe and shift from your often limiting thoughts to the expansive world around you.
Do nothing. Yep. I’m serious. Just sit for an hour and do nothing. Don’t eat anything, don’t watch anything, don’t listen to anything, don’t read anything, don’t meditate, don’t actively try to do anything other than sit - and just enjoy your surroundings, your being-ness and see what happens. Sometimes I fall asleep and that’s lovely - clearly, my body is telling me that’s what’s needed when I finally just sit still.
Play. Go do the things in life that light you up, bring you joy and get your out of your head. Prioritize this time. It’s just as important as finishing your website or sending that email or scheduling your next interview. I would argue that it’s more important. Do this first and the rest will feel less heavy.
I wish you all some deep breaths and some space as you walk through these early years in your advertising career. You are not your thoughts alone, you are Infinite!